Merry Christmas! Cardamom Hot Chocolate

A few weeks ago my priest asked me if I would start singing the Psalms during Mass.  Usually only about a dozen people come to my Mass so I figured, why not? Embarrassing myself in from of 12 people isn't the end of the world. Unfortunately my debut was none other than Christmas Eve Mass. Santa Maria is a fairly small church but once you pack people into pews, set out a couple dozen extra chairs, and crowd people standing in the back there must have been at least 200 people there.

I got the Psalm and the music on the 23rd so I had a full day to practice. Which I did much to Sherlock's displeasure. I was nervous as anything but figured if I could just get the first note right then I'd be ok. Naturally I'd stressed myself into a migraine (which put a kabosh on my plans for liquid courage). To make it worse, being a high holy day the priests bust out the incense. Incense makes me sick under the best of circumstances and they got really enthusiastic with it. It was like someone had fogged the alter with it. Unfortunately the clouds of nauseous incense that were intensifying my migraine did nothing to obscure the several hundred people staring at me; nor did they hide me from them. Needless to say I did not get the first note right. I think I got it together by the first verse though.

If that weren't enough I also went to Christmas morning Mass so I had only a handful of hours to learn a new Psalm. It went much worse this morning. Much, much worse. I should have had Gluehwein with breakfast instead of coffee. I didn't manage to pull things together until round about the third verse. At least there were less people this morning.

While I couldn't go home to my family again this year, at least modern technology makes it less depressing (no more crying during Home Alone). My sister and I talked via Skype when I got home and she and my brother-in-law taunted me by showing me the ham he prepared for dinner. Then at about 1.15AM my brother set up a Google Hangout so I could talk to him, my parents, and the cousins who go to my parents' for Christmas Eve.

It being actual Christmas day and all of course we're going to talk about a hot chocolate! I enjoy cardamom in coffee so why not in chocolate? Like cayenne, cardamom is not to be used with a liberal hand. Taste and add as you go! To accompany the hot chocolate, today I'm watching my other favorite version of The Christmas Carol-Micky Mouse's.

We used to watch this every year of TV when we were kids. Then it disappeared and you couldn't find it for love or money. But Disney, not a company to miss the chance to make money any way it can, finally released it on DVD some years ago. In addition to the Christmas Carol is a short with Chip and Dale creating a ruckus with Mickey's tree and some cartoon about a donkey that we never fail to skip.

I can never decide which version I like better; the Muppets' or Mickey. The Muppet version has the fantastic ghosts and Gonzo...but it also has singing and puppets. Shudder. Mickey's version has Goofy and is what introduced Uncle Scrooge to us. I don't really like Donald (or Huey, Duey, and Louie) but I love Scrooge McDuck. I'm also less tempted to smack the Mickey Tiny Tim. I'll just have to keep watching them both year after year until I decide!

A Merry and Blessed Christmas from ParMieux Adventures!

Recipe:

• 1 Cup milk
• 1/4-ish Cup heavy cream
• 50 grams milk chocolate (chopped)
• 1 big Tablespoon dark cocoa powder
• 1/4-1/2 Teaspoon cardamom

1. Heat milk and cream until hot or just bubbling around the edges.
2. Whisk in chocolate, cocoa powder, and cardamom.
3. Add more cardamom (or not) to taste.
4. Enjoy!

Customs is Evil

Since I am in Turkey for work I managed to insist on a shipping allowance. So while I was packing up my apartment in DC I organized everything into 'things my parents get to send me' and 'things my parents get to store'. Lucky them.

Unfortunately my allowance only got six of the eight boxes I wanted shipped to me; but at least those last two I had labeled 'send only if there's enough money'. The six that made it to me were the boxes I really needed: my clothes, shoes, DVDs, hair products, etc. FedEx assured my parents that all was good with the shipment and that they had taken care of all customs details and forms.

Big fat liars.

Last Monday I got a call from FedEx cargo here in Istanbul saying there was a problem with my shipment and I needed to contact their customs office. Over the next two days I called the customer service number and asked to be connected to customs; where no one ever picked up. Then customer service gave me the direct line to customs, which was an invalid number. I finally called customer service US, explained my problem, and asked if they had a directory of numbers for global offices. It didn't help, btw, that three of the six tracking numbers I was given in the original call were incorrect. 

I finally got hold of the FedEx customs office (through no help of FedEx US) and was told I needed to go to their office to sort out the shipment. So on Friday I grabbed a cab and got to the office at 8:45 AM. I did not leave until 4:30 PM.

When I got there they explained that the problem was the hair products, lotions, and makeup I had packed. Apparently these are restricted items and even though some of the things had clearly been used and were definitely not for resale, they were still prohibited. Okay, that's fine. I should have read the customs regulations more closely (although I still blame FedEx US because they have a handbook outlining restricted items in every country to which they ship). Let's toss the stuff and get everything else delivered.

Nope. I had to wait for the customs guy to show up. When he finally did around 11:30 the very helpful FedEx guy, Cihan, explained the situation to him. I was all set to go to the warehouse and dig through my boxes, cry a little as I saw my Curls Rock being trashed (oh the future bad hair days!) and go home.

Still no. Apparently customs guy had to leave abruptly for some important meeting and would be back around 2. Sigh. I was so glad I brought my Kindle. I managed to finish the less than thrilling book club book I'd been slogging my way through.

Around 1:30 Cihan said customs guy was back so we hurried to the freezing warehouse. Where I waited, shivering, for another half an hour. Suddenly there were like six people gathered around my boxes digging through my clothes, underwear, cosmetics, and random other things. I managed to rescue my contacts and, oddly I thought, contact solution but everything else was purged. I was proud of the stoicism I maintained while watching my conditioner and hair product be tossed. It's hard to find that stuff in the US and I have no hope of finding it here. I was a little nervous when they opened up the CD storage books in which were packed all my DVDs. I was prepared to fight for the death for my movies. Taking away my hair product is one thing; leaving me with only Turkish TV to watch is a crime. Thankfully customs guy just grinned at me when he saw the roughly 600 DVDs and put them back in the box.

Sigh of relief and now we're done. But no.

Next I got to go to the main customs office at the airport and fill out some forms. Cihan didn't think anyone there spoke English so he wrote a note for me and told me to just show it to anyone and I'd be directed to the correct person. Happily the first person I gave it to was not only the person I needed, but he also spoke English. He sat me down to wait while his colleague filled out the paperwork for me. Once that was done I had to take it to someone else to get signed, then brought it back to the original guy. They did some more signing and stamping, took the original copy and gave me two copies and sent me back to the manager to get yet more stamps and signatures.

I then rushed back to FedEx hoping to take care of everything in that one day. While the customs forms were done I still had to pay FedEx a surprise ransom for "storing" my boxes. The fee was about $250...and of course they didn't take credit cards.

Monday morning I got yet another cab to go back to FedEx with all the necessary cash to ransom everything. Cihan took me back to the payment office where three different people shuffled through my paperwork for like 15 minutes. They gave me the new ransom price (about $280) and I was just handing it over when the office boss noticed a mistake on the customs paperwork...the paperwork the head customs office filled out for me.

I thought I was going to scream when they said I'd have to wait for the customs guy again. Thankfully I once again had remembered to bring my Kindle.

An hour or so later Cihan, I think at his manager's prompting, said that he'd just take me to the customs office rather than waiting for the guy. Once we fought through the ridiculous Istanbul traffic and got to the airport we were in and out of the office in under five minutes. As soon as we got back to FedEx we went to the payment office where I expected them to note the correction on the paperwork and take my money so I could leave.

Oh poor naive me.

I think we were in the payment office for another 30-45 minutes while several more people shuffled through the paperwork, signed and stamped it all some more, and then created five separate invoices (which also had to be signed and stamped by several people). I made the payment and then Cihan, after making copies of everything, took me to another office where yet someone else signed and stamped all the originals and copies. Then we went back to the warehouse where I stood around in the cold for no reason I could figure, then it was back to the main office; where I sat some more while Cihan ran around.

Finally at, what was surprisingly only about 11:30, Cihan handed me the papers that I got to keep and told me that everything would be delivered that day. Which it was at about 5 PM.

Lessons learned:

• Thoroughly read all customs regulations to wherever you might be shipping something. 
• Do not assume that your shipment carrier will know anything; even if they have all the information available to them.
• Live in the same three shirts and pack everything that might be prohibited in your suitcase.
• I am sooo glad I left my alcohol collection with my parents.
• Screw it and buy everything new when you get to your destination.

I'm just so glad that this over now and I finally got all the things that survived the customs purge. I'm still bummed about all my future bad hair days but have decided that the fee for staying with me will be to bring me Curls Rock-so as long as I can make what I have last until my first visitor comes I should be okay. I'd also like to thank Cihan and the staff of FedEx cargo in Istanbul for making the process less horrible for me.

Also-before I leave Turkey I'm just going to burn anything that doesn't fit in my suitcases.

Dreamy Cake

While Lauren gave me 'spicy' presents, my friend Sarah, who started this whole word thing, gave me 'dreamy' presents; one of which was an instructional cake decorating book, Cakes to Dream On. While I figured  most of them were quite beyond me, I decided that if I used the shape of one and tried for the decorations of another, I just might have a chance.

Coconut lime butter cream frosting. YES!

I fell in love with one of the cakes decorated with gum paste flowers that look like they've been quilled. So on top of all the Sriracha things I made over the long weekend, I also decided to try my hands at making a dreamy cake. I immediately ordered some dowels and gum paste and spent a good chunk of Saturday dying gum paste and making flowers. By the time Siricha Sunday came around...TA DA!!

From Cakes to Dream On

No, I lie. That's the cake I tried to make, well the decorations anyway, that shape was well beyond me. Gum paste dries out freakishly quickly and I couldn't make the multi colored flowers because they'd dry before I got the next part done. Also I'd get sick of kneading color into the paste so I ended up with really pastel colors. I'm thinking I just need to set aside a big chunk of time to play with the gum paste.

What my quilled gum paste flowers actually looked like.

On to plan b! My friend Dunja gave me a fondant recipe that actually did not sound heinous so I decided to continue with the fondant plan and just decorate with it.

A fondant recipe that calls for honey-interesting

I have to say that I was pleased by the fondant even before tasting it. It was so smooth and pliant and I just knew it would be easy to use. I started with a pale green and separated it smaller amounts to darken the green. I figured if the quilled flowers were a failure, then I should go with shades of green fondant to emphasize the lime-yness of the frosting.

There was a lot of powdered sugar going on

What truly sucked was that because it was so unbearably hot, I had my floor fan in the kitchen, but I had to turn it off while working with the fondant. To make sure nothing sticks, you need to cover your work space with a lot of powdered sugar. And obviously I couldn't have a fan pointed at a table of loose powdered sugar!

Cutting out darker green fondant leaves

All in all I was pretty pleased with the cake when I finished. Sadly it's probably the best decorated cake I've ever managed to turn out. I really need to pick a skill, like gum paste, and sit down and work on it over and over until I've got it; rather than deciding willy nilly that I'm going to do it for a cake I'm making today.

Not too bad!

Recipes:
Coconut lime cake adapted from My Baking Addiction. Instead of cupcakes I used one each 8-inch, 6-inch, and 4-inch round pans. The recipe was enough for all of them.

Fondant:

• 50 grams of butter or margarine (Dunja told me margarine but I used butter-worked fine)
• 1 soup spoon of light colored honey
• half a bag of plain gelatin
• 30 ml hot water
• vanilla
• powdered sugar as needed

1. First dissolve the gelatin in water and set aside
2. Melt honey in a small sauce pan but be careful not to boil it
3. Once melted, remove from heat, add the butter, vanilla (or other flavor, I also used coconut), and gelatin
4. Add powdered sugar in small batches. Dunja said mix by hand but I cheated and used the bread hook on my Kitchen Aid. If you're mixing by hand, keep adding sugar until you get a pizza dough-like texture. If you're cheating like I did, add sugar and mix on low-medium until the fondant pulls away from the sides of the bowel and wraps around the hook.

The fondant was really easy to work with and, shockingly, not bad tasting! We didn't even remove it from the cake before eating!

Porgy & Bess

Warning Spoiler Alerts!!

It's been a little while since I sat down and reviewed an opera or play I saw and I thought it was about time I started doing that again. I'm a subscriber at the Washington National Opera and last night I saw the opening of its production of Gershwin's Porgy and Bess. Now before I go ahead and trash the performance I will be upfront about my biases going into the performance:

1. I don't like Gershwin. Really not at all.
2. Opera should not be sung in English. It just shouldn't be. Like Mass should always be said in Latin, opera should be sung in European languages (specifically Italian, German, French and on the occasion, Russian)
3. It's possible that my seats in the fourth row back and to stage left have some sort of weird bubble preventing sound penetration.
4. I don't like Gershwin (it's worth saying twice).

The good, however limited I found it to be, was that the set and costuming was appropriate. There wasn't any of that failed "creativity" that annoys me so much. I am generally a purist when  it comes to set and costume design and believe that they should be done according to the period in which the production was written. I do not think that resetting things is always bad if done well (anyone see the Shakespeare Theatre Company's Love's Labours Lost?) but the problem is that often some director/visionary gets too caught up in something and either goes overboard or is done completely half-assed. None of that last night, thank you.

The chorus was excellent, usually the WNO does manage to get at least that much correct. There were a lot of really good (especially female) voices in there. Also brilliant were Eric Owens as Porgy who had a powerful voice and the sweetest face; Lisa Daltrius as Serena whom I would like to hear sing something else-she had an amazing voice that got lost in the ofttimes discordant music; and Eric Greene as Jake. Native Washingtonian Alyson Cambridge (who is stunning btw) was...good. Could not really hear her very well (number 3 above) and I did not care for her vibrato. Sounds like that will become a tremolo sooner than later. Morenike Fadayomi as Bess had some very nice notes. Yeah that's about all I've got for her. Although I don't know, maybe it's really difficult to sign while you're being an alcoholic hyped up on coke. I just don't know.

My absolute favorite part of the entire opera? One of the supernumeraries. The most adorable little girl on earth who must have been about three or four years old. There's a scene in opera in which everyone is marching around and she was the most enthusiastic little marcher I have ever seen. She did not reappear after the intermission, I would guess because it was well past her bedtime, and I sorely missed her.

I would say that the majority of the bad I lay at Gershwin's feet. Anything that is 2.5 hours long (3 hours when you throw in the WNO's 25 minute intermission) should be worth the entire 2.5 hours. The scene with the woman selling strawberries and the guy selling the crabs? What was that?! That's like 3 minutes that I will never have back. Also true to opera written during this period, there was some dissonance and a lot of talking. Like actual talking, not just recitative. I really did not think you could call something opera when there is talking and that is usually what knocks it down to an operette or a musical? Where's my mom with these answers when I need them? And what the heck was that ending? That was the hands down stupidest ending I have ever seen.

The most egregious badness in this production falls on the WNO's head for bad casting. Jermaine Smith as Sportin' Life. I do not know what he sounds like in other productions he's in but if his performance last night was truly indicative then he should never be aloud to sing in public. Ever again. Ever. It seemed to me that the WNO sacrificed someone who could sing for someone who could do a little soft shoe. Although I don't know, maybe Gershwin meant for this character to not be able to sing. I would not put such a thing past someone who included three minutes about strawberries and crabs that was completely superfluous to the plot. Although to Mr. Smith's credit, he portrayed the character quite well and very much disliked and was creeped out by him.

The opera was excellently acted which is not always a given with WNO casts. But with the actors sometimes sacrificing singing for the sake of acting, KMac and I wonder if Porgy and Bess wouldn't be better off as a musical. One of those musicals that is mostly talking with like 3 or 4 songs. Short songs.