On a very gloomy day in June Lauren and I went on an all-you-can-eat crab cruise on the Potomac. My first and most ardent desire was that the crab not be from the Potomac itself. It may have been cool when Peter Parker got bit by a radio-active spider and turned all Spider Man, but Andrea eating a radio-active crab would probably not do anything cool.
The cruise itself was a little “meh” due mostly to the overcastness of the day. However, It’s always a treat to be on the water and to see all the DC monuments from a new perspective, and food is always welcome! We had: crab, corn on the cob, hush puppies, French fries, and cookies. Now, I love crab, I love crab, however, I do have one or two, or five, issues eating crab when it’s crab-shaped. Legs don’t bother me because they’re not attached to anything, but when I have to deal with an entire crab I get a wee bit squeamish. Okay, rather a lot squeamish.
We had a little table covered in paper on which the cruise people dumped piles of crabs. I gingerly picked up my first crab and twisted off its claws and legs and set them aside for later; then came the hard part. With its face facing away from me (I just can’t have them looking at me-in fact I turned away all their faces when dude dropped them on the table) I went through the crack open the crab procedure. First you lift up and tear off the “apron” on its stomach, then either lift off the top shell or break it in half. I’m ok with those steps-it’s what comes next that freaks me out. Then before you can dive in and eat all the lovely crab meat that’s soaked up the Old Bay seasoning, you have to scrape out the gunk. Ew. Yellow mustard-looking innards and the lungs which are grey and spongy have to come out and, in the case of the yellow gunk, be cleaned off the meat before you can eat it. Ew ew ew ew! I squealed a little every time my fingers brushed against any of the squishy or spongy substances whereas Lauren managed to perfectly and matter-of-factly multi task and tear apart and eat the crab whilst rolling her eyes at me.
In the end, I did not get to eat as much crab meat as I would have liked being as how my timidity slowed me down, however, I still got to eat crab and my lips and tongue burned with the Old Bay. Crab is a lovely thing but I really do prefer that it come only in legs.